my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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