giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's blow job season.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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