we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
