I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's shark week go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize