oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Your penis caused this!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
