its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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