she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
