drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
