He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
