At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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