They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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