One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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