pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
