There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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