I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
