i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
