You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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