We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
