Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
