the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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