I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
