Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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