Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
