she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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