I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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