were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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