I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
