glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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