There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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