Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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