Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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