also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
