i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
