just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
