I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize