I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
