my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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