I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
