Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
