dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
