every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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