I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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