His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
