I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
