I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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