She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
