do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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