how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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