I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
