Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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