U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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