didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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