either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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