I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
