I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
