Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
