I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
