i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
