I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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