he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I checked into jail on foursquare
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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