how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
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Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
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I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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