even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
