found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
