yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
