she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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