He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
