im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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