they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
be right there i have to get my cape
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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