Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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